I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while, but I have to admit it’s not an easy topic for me to discuss. I am a stay at home mom (SAHM) and my daughter just turned 14 (yes, 14). While I can certainly go back to work at any time I choose, I think that decision should only be made by my husband and myself, not by anyone else. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard, “So are you EVER going back to work? What did you get an MBA for, to stay home, you can make a lot of money. What do you DO all day?”. If I had a nickel for every time I have heard that, I would probably never need to go back to work. Here’s a quote that I have seen many times all over the internet, and it pretty much sums it all up for me:
I would never criticize women who work outside of the home, some of my closest friends have careers they love and made the choice to be working moms. And I fully support them. I also understand that many of them have to work if they are single mothers or if they have to contribute to the financial needs of the family. Then there are the women who do not see themselves as SAHMs and do not have the “patience” (as I’ve heard some say), and would much rather work outside the home and have a nanny raise their children, even when they don’t need to work. And last but not least, the women who truly value and enjoy their careers, and do not want to give up what they love doing to be at home raising their kids. My point here is not to single anyone out, we should all be able to do as we please with our lives. However, I also do not appreciate when people act as if being a SAHM is a bad choice, or a lazy choice…it’s a personal choice.
When our daughter was born, I had a fantastic job, probably the best one I ever had, and we seriously considered if I was going back to work after my 3 month maternity leave. For many personal reasons, my husband and I made the decision that I would stay home and raise her, a decision that I have never regretted and fully enjoyed for 14 years. And no, not because I am lazy, or didn’t want to go to work every day and leave her at daycare (although I surely did not miss those pantyhose every morning). Simply because I very much enjoy being a mother and I did not want to miss out on any of our daughter’s milestones, especially since time goes by so quickly and I would never get those moments back. Of course I was blessed that we could afford to have this option, but at that point in time, as good as my job was, I simply was not passionate enough about my career to miss out on enjoying my daughter every single day. And I also realized, that no matter how good I was at my job (I was very good) or how much my boss loved me (she really loved me), whatever your job is, you are expendable. You are a number. You can be replaced, and you will be replaced, eventually.
Now that my daughter is a teen and is much more independent, I have been seriously thinking of entering the work force again, at least on a part-time basis. But I even find this decision a tough one, because who will be home with her during all the school breaks, holidays, teacher appreciation days, early dismissal (sometimes they seem to be out of school more than they are in), take her to doctor/dentist appointments, etc. Am I really ready to miss her swim meets, school plays, and any other important event that may come up? I’m not sure yet.
So yes…I am JUST a mother. Not only do I shape and mold my beautiful, smart, loving daughter to grow up to be a kind, responsible, hard-working, functional and respectable adult with morals and manners (which seem to be disappearing in today’s youth), but I also manage and maintain everything in our household, so that it runs smoothly, while caring for our daughter who relies on me for just about everything. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. My heart melts whenever my daughter tells me that she feels so blessed to have the best mother in the world and that she would be lost without me.
Yes…I LOVE being JUST a mom…at least for now!
Photo Courtesy of RoseHill Design Studio
Are you a SAHM (or dad)? Do you enjoy staying at home raising your kids or would you rather work outside your home? I would love to hear.
Listen2Mama 
Very well said. Although sometimes I need a break,I wouldn’t want to work outside of the home. At least not until my kids are older.
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Love those quotes! I could never be a stay-at-home mom…I would go crazy! lol! I give satm’s SO much credit!!
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It’s not for everyone…LOL!
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Have to agree.. a mom is not just a mom.. i feel the mother is more important to the children then s fathers.. they seem to cling more to them, and ask for more advice from them.
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Well said. There are days when I miss going to a regular “job” but I wouldn’t trade these last few years being home with my daughter for anything.
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we are moms but we are powerful!! The payment we receive is filled with hugs and kisses
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Great post and I can’t imagine anyone saying you or anyone else is just a mom. It is the biggest job EVER.
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I am finally able to work only part time….it has taken until our 4th child for this to happen! I love being home with her 4 days a week! Being a mom rocks!
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That is SO true! Being a mom is NEVER just being a mom. If moms got paid what they were worth, women would be getting pregnant just for the pay!
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Love all the quotes here! and I’m so happy to be a mom! Nothing gives me so much of satisfaction than just being a mom.
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I couldn’t agree more. When I hear that I often become defensive because usually the ones saying it aren’t parents, or if so aren’t the full time one and have no clue. Being a parent, or, just a mom is the most important job of all time so I’ll take my just being a mom any day!
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This is one of my favorite posts!!! Moms totally rule the world!
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well said! I have been a SAHM/WAHM for almost 17yrs now..and have learned to brush off any negative comments- they just don’t get it! And that’s okay with me!
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Wonderful article. We are SAHMs as well. It is sad how often that is looked down on when it is the most important job.
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Yes it is sad…
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I was a stay at home mom until my youngest started high school and then I was home before her every day and her father took her to school every morning. I never regretted it, not for one second. She is my only daughter I didn’t want someone else watching her milestones I wanted to be there. I think women should support each other more and spend less time judging them.
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Well said. I did a similar article because I was so tired of people “judging” moms. I wouldn’t trade motherhood for anything else, I consider myself blessed. Ignore the haters.
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I am with you 100%. I just turned down a part-time job because who is going to be there during the day when they get sick.
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I love all of those! And I know how you feel – as a homeschooling mom of 3 I work like crazy everyday, monday-sunday, 24 hours! Sometimes my tiny bosses are gracious enough to let me have a coffee break, but usually thats because I turn on the TV for 20 minutes and hide behind the kitchen counter!
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Those that underestimate a “mom” is because they haven’t been one, being a mom is the most difficult role in the world
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Funny how there is still that “just a mom, housewife, etc” mentality. I just ignore it.
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oh again.this is something i cnt stand.why people think that staying at home is nothing in comparison to working ladies.its a job too.and also hard to manage
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This is great, more power to stay at home moms! I call myself one, but really I’m almost always working at least part-time. But for the most part I’m with my kids, and definitely around when they’re home from school!
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Great article! Being a woman, being a mom is hard enough. We suppose to support each other.
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I’m about to become a SAHM and I can truly say that I won’t be just a mom. Even as a working mom I know the challenges there are to being a SAHM and personally I think I have it easier not being at home.
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I would LOVE to work outside the home if I did not miss any part of my girls, was able to stay home when they were sick and made the money I make now working at home.
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yea well said although i trust that the people who say “your just a mom” in a way isn’t happy somewhere in their own lives.
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I completely agree!
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This is a great post and I agree with it a 100 percent. It annoys me when people say you’re just a mom. They don’t realize how hard (but rewarding) this job is!
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Hey work is not all it’s cracked up to be. If I could do it over, I would have stayed home the whole time until they graduated from high school!
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Motherhood is definitely one of the hardest jobs there is, that’s for sure!
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This is such a great post. As the mom of 3 I relate to SO MUCH of it. Thank you!
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I am upset when someone says: you are just a mother.. We are raising a generation and taking care of the family: that is a full time job
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There are great lessons to learn both inside and outside of the house.I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a SAHM.
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I was a stay at home mom until my Daughter turned teen. Then I got a part time job. There is nothing wrong with being a SAHM, but there is nothing wrong with being a working mom either. It is all in what suits you best
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That’s exactly my point!
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People say this to me all the times. It drives me crazy. They don’t understand how much work I do at home, plus running my own business.
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I hate that people judge each other. I would never say anything rude to a working mum [I work part time] or SAHM. It’s none of my business how anyone else decides to lead their family. Those people that say “just a mom” clearly have no idea what the job entails.
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I’m lucky to be a part-time SAHM, I work when my kid is in school and I can take him to work with me anytime too!
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I work outside the home and would love the opportunity to be home with my daughter more. She is also 14 and while she doesn’t need me as much as she used to, she still needs me. Stay home as long and as much as you can.
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I hate being referred to being “just a mom”. It irritates me just as much!
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I quit my job to stay home and take care of the kids. I homeschool my son now, and I’ve considered going back to work once he goes off to college. Still, that’s definitely a decision only I can make, with my family in mind of course.
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I was a teacher for 20 years while raising my two sons. When I became preg with my daughter 8 years ago I decided to stay home with her. I was older having her and life was way more settled. I am SO glad I had the chance to stay home with her. I hated every minute of being a working mom and am so much happier now!
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I am a foster stay at home mum but I also run my own company and do some freelance work… I think we all should do what feels and is right for us.
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This is a great post, there is nothing easy about being a stay at home mom, rewarding yes but definitely not easy, it’s even harder being a work from home mom with little ones, thanks for sharing =)
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It is the hardest job in the world. I was a SAHM for five years and I chose to go back to work.
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Being is the best job and title ever. No one said it would be easy and there certainly is no book that could ever prepare us.
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I completely agree. I have a law degree and I get it all day long. I enjoy being a SAHM, but when I hear these comments, I feel guilty that I’m not doing more.
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I love this. We cannot afford for me to be home, per se, but it means so much for both my husband and myself to be here for our girls. I love being here for everything, especially becuase he works a lot. Thank you for sharing this post. ❤
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Being a mom is the hardest job in the world, and anyone who doesn’t believe that needs to try it for a week!
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My husband is a wahd. I work outside the home but I stay home if my kids are sick, or there is a special play, doctor appt, etc. Being a stay at home mom, or dad, is tough work!
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Mothers are heroes in every sense of the word. You should all start appreciating yourselves…
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It really bothers me when people say that you are just a m.Mom. Being a Mom is a 24 hour a day 7 days a week job. Many Moms work a full time job as well. It is not an easy job at all.
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I think it’s right to delete the word “just” from “just a mom.” Being a mother is an accomplishment of a lifetime and should not be underestimated. It’s hard and not simple at all, especially for first-time moms.
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